No. No, I won't.

Boy, about 11 or 12 with a bowl haircut approaches the ref desk.
Boy: Will you make my brochure for me?
Me: What?
Boy: Will you make my brochure for me?
Me:...What? I'm not sure what you're asking for.
Boy: (slight eyeroll detected) My geography teacher says we have to make brochures for different countries. I have Guatemala.
Me: And you want me to show you how to make a brochure on the computer?
Boy: Kind of. Do these computers have Word on them?
Me: Not these, but a program that is similar. I can still help you set up the page though so you can make a brochure. Do you have a copy of the assignment that I can see?
Boy: (long pause) No, but I don't want to use Word anyway. We are using Publisher at school and that's what I want to use.
Me: Oh, well...we don't have Publisher on the public computers for you to use.
Boy: Is it on your computer?
Me: (slight pause) Yes...
Boy: Will you make my brochure for me?