X-Posted to Closed Stacks
Sometimes when I log into Facebook (*stamps floor and averts eyes* yes, geez I have FB account even though I hate the damn thing) there are little ads over on the side and, on occasion, they mention libraries so I glance over at them. Usually I ignore these ads because they are weird cartoon dogs wiggling, or a strange woman dancing, or a creepy old man nodding his head at me and they cause me to have blood lust for the annoying soul who invented them, but hey if it mentions libraries it’s got to be relevant information, right?
What I like about this ad: 1) Librarians are hot, slightly spooky women with stark white hair like Storm from X-Men. 2) The web address suggests the option of achieving a Masters degree today?
What I don’t like about this ad: 1) The odd choice to capitalize Some words and Not Others. 2) I could earn upto $55K – so you hit the salary ceiling after that? And they’re using that to bait unsuspecting potential students, aka a bunch of hipsters who use FB and love librarian glasses, into possibly signing up at a non-accredited interweb school? 3) Uh, how about everything.
Ah yes, what side-swept bang and tight-fitted jean miss (or mister) generation slacker can resist the siren song of the librarian as a career? It just screams hip and cool or even perhaps that outdated moniker of “alternative.” If they only knew the overcrowded job markets, the student loans that total more than your first year’s salary, the shame of going to a fake internet school, or the shame of having a legit MLIS and working as a night-stocker at Wal-Mart.
This led me to thinking back to the mind-numbing boredom of cataloging, the dizzying lows of the history of public libraries, or the cruel and unusual punishment of learning Dialog. One of the main complaints those of us in the profession hear time and time again is how little library school prepares you for the actual job you end up getting. Not to beat this drum again, but this has been on my mind a lot lately, especially with some of our toilet troubles…
I thought to compliment
The Librarienne’s recent post about dissuading librarian wannabees, I came up with a list of suggested courses for addition to the library school curriculum:
LIS707 – Organization of Information Materials by Cover– 3 credits
Dewey Decimal and Library of Congress classification systems are disregarded in this study that focuses on the concerns and techniques of organizing items by cover and the modern library users’ information-seeking behavior. Concentrates on the understanding and application of this in demand trend, including how to separate colors and the differences between scary and sexy vampires.
LIS710 – Introduction to Library Perverts– 3 credits
This course will explore the philosophical (if they just wanted to look at naked people then why couldn’t they just do it at home?) and physical (if they didn’t want to get caught then why did they take off their pants?) questions behind porn viewers, flashers, masturbators and other non-traditional library users. Major part of course includes simulation of these problems and critical evaluation of proposed solutions.
LIS738 – Mechanics of Photocopier Machine Repair– 3 credits
Being a librarian often requires specialized knowledge in electronics and machine maintenance. This course explains the theory of photocopier operation and will cover such topics as bin sorters with multiple staple positions and upper and lower heat roller sets. Students must demonstrate their ability to clear jams, change toner cartridges, replace worn parts, and maintain network connections in order to receive a passing grade.
LIS742a – Principles and Practices of Plumbing Obstructions– 2 credits
An examination of this common problem with a hands-on emphasis. Challenges relating to contemporary lavatory functions will be identified and analyzed by students, drawing from their own experiences, pertinent literature in the field, and field investigations. May substitute LIS742b – Popular Materials for Vomit Absorption.
LIS755 – Seminar in Conservative Patron Relations– 3 credits
A historical study from ancient times to the present of the evolution and social role of the fanatical patron in libraries, with concentration on 20th and 21st century conservative repression. Aspects of authoritarianism will be observed with film screenings of Norma Rae, Good Night and Good Luck, Footloose, and Silent Night, Deadly Night. Students are encouraged to create a final project that might include a lively protest or sit-in, a bonfire of controversial library materials such as the Harry Potter series, or an original research paper.
I didn’t even touch courses designed for relations with coworkers – that could be an entirely new post all together. LIS770 – Internship with Passive-Aggressive Note Leavers or LIS771 – Diversity in Libraries: Potential Shut-ins and You, anyone?
