It Begins...Summer Reading

Recently the Huffington Post asked readers to submit words that describe summer, which included: sleep, travel, adventure, fun, relaxation, greatness, peace, water, and books.  While others look forward to summer, those of us in the public library industry frequently feel a little bit queasy at the beginning of the season and may describe it with words like: screaming, anxiety, face-painting, live snakes, people wearing their bathing suits inside the library -- oh yeah and books.  Now is the time of year when I start to have night terrors about overflowing book drops and angry patrons when I cannot find them a copy of the latest New York Times bestseller.

Maybe it was because we were having a monsoon yesterday or were actually appropriately staffed, but it didn't seem that bad.  The children were fairly easy - looking for books on worms or the always popular Guinness Book of World Records; the teens occupied themselves with the onsite photo booth; but the adults -- that much coveted yet difficult to attain population who grimace at being asked to register themselves for the adult summer reading program...until we mention that there's a prize.  

image delightfully edited by me

"What's that?" a father with two wiggling children asks, pointing at the Parents: sign up for summer reading to win a FREE iPad mini! sign.

"You can win a iPad mini for signing up for summer reading," my coworker reads the sign to them.

"Just for signing up?!" the father asks.  I think I see bits of foam forming in the corners of his mouth.

"Well, you'll be entered in a drawing to win, if you finish your challenge card."

"Oh," the father's excitement falls as he realizes we don't have a box overflowing with iPad minis for the taking under the desk. "Ok, maybe I'lll sign up later.  I'll think about it," before he wanders away never to return.

Admittedly, only being entered to win a iPad mini is not as thrilling as getting one simply for signing your name on a scrap of colored paper, but the extremely low amount of adults who do register and manage to complete the insurmountable tasks of reading a book, attending a program, and learning to put a book on hold means that the chances of winning are pretty awesome.  I think last year my branch had less than 35 adults complete their challenge cards -- I'd take those odds but of course staff cannot enter.  We can only bribe our adult patrons with candy and free electronics while being chastised for not having unlimited copies Silver Linings Playbook on blu ray. 

Random Subject Heading: WTF?!? Librarian Finds Smallpox Scabs Inside an Old Book

Grocery and to-do lists. Photographs. A Band-Aid.  A plane ticket to Frankfurt in the smoking section from 1989.  A moldy piece of Kraft cheese. Crushed up medication. All together now: “These are a few of my favorite things” – just kidding! These are few of the things I’ve found inside of library books during my amazing career, but fortunately none of them have been as much fun as smallpox scabs.

However one lucky librarian did have the pleasure of finding the red plague tucked inside a book.  At a university library in New Mexico, a book on Civil War medicine contained an ancient envelope that had the enticing description “scabs from vaccination of WB Yarrington’s children” which, of course, demanded that it be opened to release its guaranteed “dried up old mummy scabs.” 

Special Delivery: It's for you!

The librarian, Susanne Caro contacted the National Museum of Civil War Medicine, which in turn called Walter Reed, then the CDC, and within a couple days the FBI arrived to get the scabs, but only after questioning the librarian as to whether someone could’ve planted the scabs in the book.  “Her answer ‘was a great big no,’ according to Caro.”

Aside from being a disgusting cautionary tale for those of us in the lib biz, my favorite part of this article was that “clearly, this was a book that no one but the author himself had ever read.” Imagine not only the journey and process involved in writing a book, but then shoving some crusted, poxed up skin flakes into said book in the name of medicine…and then no one bothers to read your damn book or find your disgusting science experiment.  That book is your work, your sweat, your time away from your kids who want to know why you are keeping the scabs of other kids, massaging them gently and whispering “my precious.”  It’s kinda embarrassing.

So if I ever get around to completing a novel, I think I might put some scabs inside it too.  That way if anyone bothers to crack the spine it will make the evening news.  And my parents will be proud.  

Footnote: A I am aware that I am quoting Cracked as a news source.