Monday, July 12, 2010

Kids say...

I was making pleasant library smalltalk with my coworker at the reference desk when he stopped talking and raised his eyebrows. This is code for "there is someone behind you." I turned around ready to assist another teen who is grief stricken that all copies of Dear John are currently out but was surprised by the small boy leaning on the counter and earnestly looking up at me. I was so surprised that my mouth hung open for a full 30 seconds. IT WAS EFFING GAVIN!!!!
Complete with the nasal robot voice, coke bottle glasses, ill fitting trucker's cap, the backpack, the weird trailing off of sentences, bizarro questions, and no parent or responsible guardian in sight! Never have I wanted a fancy camera phone so badly!
(If, for some strange reason you don't know who Gavin is, please educate yourself on him here).

What brought real life Gavin to the library? He wanted to know what number he was on the wait list for his Naruto books because he couldn't look at his account online, which he confessed was due to him opening an email on his grandma's computer that "(his) dad said (he) definitely should not have opened." Then he asked to make a guess on our candy jar guessing game for kids and informed me that there was a certain mathematical equation he knew of that would help him solve how many Jolly Ranchers were in the jar, but he couldn't tell me what it was because then I would use it for myself. Never have I wanted to kidnap someone so badly!

Later, a tiny little girl bounced up to the desk and asked me "Is this school?" I told her that it was not school, but the library. Then she asked to make a guess on the candy jar and guessed "5," when the actual number is somewhere closer to 170.


  1. I'd forgotten about Gavin.
    "There were these kids? And they taught a dog to smoke cigarettes? And the dog got addicted!" I wish I got Gavins. I get way more Darills. I often just get the "djooguysgut" kids. These are the ones who walk up and say "Djooguysgut" and then the name of some movie that would have a holds list longer than the Trans-Siberian railroad. When I look it up and tell them the length of the holds list, they don't pause and just "djooguysgut" movie after movie until I want to feign a stroke to get them to walk away.

  2. Ah, I love Gavin kids. They always come from weird parents and I'm guessing most of them are home-schooled. I was camping once and a little boy at the next site was constantly making the most adorably nerdy jokes. I remember one was about the kelp in the river, and he said that they needed "kelp deforestation." What kid under ten puts that together?

  3. the reason why gavin was created is because there are thousands of gavins around the world