Trending Topics: Don't touch that!

Aside from the bunned, bespectacled librarian, the other stereotype most closely associated with libraries is probably the library creep and, those of us in business know, that sometimes these creeps...take matters into their own hands.

Image from tumblr, source unknown

So although this isn't an uncommon occurrence, one of the top library stories this past week is the story of a man forbidden from "all libraries on the face of the Earth" after his activities at the Racine Public library.  How is that even enforceable?  An ankle monitor bracelet?

The story got some extra mileage by LJ's Annoyed Librarian entry yesterday dedicated to possible workarounds of the Earthly library ban for this man so that he can get his library fix and oddly likened public masturbation to sex in libraries (?).  What I'm curious about is when will these stories stop being newsworthy -- or maybe a better question is who are these stories newsworthy to?  As I mentioned before, library biz folk aren't really phased by these stories.  This is not to say that it's acceptable or in any way "normal," (one never forgets their first interaction with a 'bater) but the majority of people who seem to get worked up about it are the general public.  I suppose this is because they can't imagine coming into the office one day to find Jenkins openly shaking hands with the man downstairs.  I envy them in that way.

Trending Topics: Job Security for realz, this one has Secret Service agents involved

Last year I posted a job announcement for a "wine librarian," today I post one for being the Commander in Chief's librarian. That's right, Obam-arian! 

I'm trying to imagine myself saying, "Mr. President, I was able to locate that book with the blue cover you were searching for," or him swiveling around in his chair (yes, I know he's not a Bond character) and request that I brief him on how to download a book on his iPad -- oh, and fix the jam in the copier too...

I browsed the requirements and was like, "yes...yes...me also...me totally..." and then of course come the more important stuff like having specialized experience such as General Schedule grade equivalent salary, dealing with federal acquisitions and procuring government contracts.  You know, the stuff that would be key factors to obtaining such a high profile job, not advising him on what to read next.

So while I'm one DC metro librarian who won't be applying for this cool gig, those who are interested will need to get their act together since the position closes today.  Until Obama is interested in finding out what the book club selection will be this month, I'll just be over in the corner pretending that I scored that wine-o job and giving sassback to that copier.

Overheard @ The Info Desk: Ummm

A woman with bright red lipstick, a very pretty shade but just slightly on her front tooth, approaches the information desk:

Lipstick Tooth: I'm looking for books...

Me: ...Yes?

Lipstick Tooth: ...books by former CIA agents.

Me: Like biographies or a tell all, something like that?

Lipstick Tooth: ...sort-of.  But they should be exciting stories -- the people don't all have to be real.

Me:  So are you looking for nonfiction or fiction? Fictional stories about CIA agents that were perhaps written by former agents?

Lipstick Tooth: No, not fiction, I want them to be real, true stories.  You know how the story is true but the writer twists it and changes somethings, adds people.

Me:  Ok, maybe they are based on real events or people but are fictionalized? Based on a true story type of thing?

Lipstick Tooth: (slightly exasperated) Yes, but the basic plot should be true -- not make-believe.  The truth but with more added to it.  You know, building on the truth...but they have to be written by former CIA agents, what happened to them on their missions.

Me: (also slightly exasperated) So...based on a true story?

Lipstick Tooth: Yes except real.  Like those Bourne Identity movies.

Me: The Bourne Identity movies are actually based off of a series of books, would you be interested in those or books like those?

Lipstick Tooth: No, because it's not real.  I said like the Bourne Identity but true and it happened to a former CIA agent.  I want that. (pauses) Nevermind, I'll just go look for myself (heads off in the direction of fiction).

A few minutes later, she stops at the desk again:

Lipstick Tooth: What about a list of CIA agents that live in this area? I could look up books by them.

Me: Uhhh, I'm pretty sure that some of that information is classified.

Lipstick Tooth: It's ok, my friend has a list, I'll get it from him (walks off).