Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Library cell phone etiquette

Patrons will be glad to learn that the days of shushing loud people in the library are as long gone as checking out cassette tapes. However, the freedom to talk above a whisper also comes with the freedom to use your cell phone and we ask that you please observe proper library cell phone etiquette:

1. Don't turn your ringer off. Those signs that we have posted about switching your phone to vibrate are for entertainment purposes only, please ignore them.
2. Select the most annoying ring tone possible. I personally enjoy an old school telephone bell ring set around 100 decibels, but we also like hearing ring tones of popular music, unpopular music, and anything else that takes you a really long time to notice and answer.
3. Upon finally answering your phone shout, "Oh hey, (insert name here), I'm at the library!" This allows not only the person calling you to know your location, but also alerts everyone at the library that you know you're actually at the library and not Starbucks.
4. Forget personal space and stay mobile. You might be sitting next to a stranger who is studying for their MCAT exam, but by the time you're finished with this conversation they will probably move elsewhere giving you lots of extra table room. Also, it is good to tour around the library either browsing, making photocopies you don't want to pay for, using the ready reference bookshelf as a leaning post, going to the bathroom, or just wandering aimlessly while you talk on the phone.
5. Keep conversations long and not private. On hold with your credit card company for the next 20 minutes? Be sure to let everyone know your business! Other great topics to discuss on the phone include upcoming doctor appointments (especially ones for illness and infections), your probation officer, why you're unemployed, why you're single, what you're going to eat for lunch, and that bitch, Stacy. Never forget that what's going on in your life is important to everyone around you and think of these little announcements as live Facebook or Twitter updates for people you aren't friends with. This will also provide the librarians with something to talk about, mainly if your cell phone still has batteries and the possibility that you are only talking to yourself.

Have I forgotten anything?


  1. Feel free to stand at the DVDs and loudly talk to your sweetie at home about what crap they have here at the library. Discuss each movie in detail, showing off your knowledge of the cast, director, amount of sex, quality of violence, believability of special effects, etc. Remember: even though the library's collection doesn't live up to your standard, check out as many DVDs as you can carry. Bonus points for complaining over your phone about what a long line there is at the circulation desk and how slow and stupid the clerks are.

  2. I feel like posting about this very same subject too.

    I HATE it when patrons come up to the desk with some materials while blabbering on their cell phones. You have no idea what they need, so they tell the person they're talking to hold on and give you a dirty look like you're interrupting them.


  3. I enjoy it when patrons talk so loud that we actually have to ask them to quiet down. It's like they have never been asked to comply with rules before. "Honey, I gotta go. These librarians are telling me I'm too loud."

  4. What century is this sigh, oh crap it is the "It is all about me 21st century". Double darn. I so hate cell phone users in my college library. Well just the 20% who have no conception that libraries still=quieter study place.